Never before have I let my walls down so much and became so enveloped in another human. I find it hard to hide even the smallest thoughts, and yet somehow along the way, they find me fake. A liar, someone of deception and only in it for kicks. I don't take to kindly to being considered unreal. I pride my self on my honesty, loyalty, and unconditional love. Apparently it's not good enough. Apparently it doesn't shine as brightly as I once thought it did. Apparently, all those things I'm supposed to be have been twisted into some form of monster that causes inevitable pain, torture. It's not my fault they say, but I participated, I helped form, create and morph this grief. How can I not blame myself? How can I not feel like this? Like someone has just torn my beating heart from my chest and put it on display only to be picked apart by vultures? They were right when they said I didn't deserve this. I don't and neither do they. What's next? I have no clue. I'm just going to be waiting, because no matter how I'm feeling in this moment, no matter how many tears I'm going to cry, I can't stop loving them even if I tried.
No comments:
Post a Comment