My Ponderment and Passion

“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted; unbidden it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us; passion rules us all and we obey.” 

- Joss Whedon

When someone asks me what I'm passionate about, I give them an easy clear and simple answer; "My children." Which don't get me wrong, my every breath on this earth is for them. Anything and everything I do, is for them. They are my passion. Usually this answer suffices most people and they go about their way and it's end of conversation.

And then there is that one person, you know, the one that wants a non generic answer, wants to get a little deeper inside of you and find out what makes you tick. Annoying aren't they? :) Well I suppose it depends on who it is. But today a friend and I were briefly discussing passions in our lives and I fear that one passion is becoming null and dry. Writing, oddly enough, is what I'm referencing.  As you can tell, I haven't been posting near as often to my blog as in the beginning and the whole reason behind starting the blog was really to bring back some of that passion.

I suppose it worked for a little while anyway, but it got me thinking. Imagine that! What am I passionate about besides my kids of course. I started going over the course of my past passions and have easily deduced, that none of them are still present to this day. Rock collecting, drawing, dancing, writing short stories and poems, scrap booking, cooking, baking, photography and my newest thing is cake decorating.  I realize that this "passions" in the moment are nothing more than whims really. I get a thought in my head and want to do it and I dabble in it for a little while, but it begins to fade.

While pondering this it made me wonder; is my problem that I have too many passions? Is it that I want to do so many things, that I have no time to focus on one thing? To really let it take hold and do something good with it? Oh and I realize I left out wood burning.. yes, I did that, for about 1/2 a project. I think part of the problem aside from too many passions to focus, is my perfectionism, and the funny thing that comes with it, is that I know I'm not perfect, in fact, I am pretty much a self doubter to the core, will be the first to tell you, I can't do anything right. Far and few does something come along that I am proud of, especially of my own making. That's definitely a rarity.

So here's my ponderment, if you have a passion, what is it and how do you know that it is your passion? I don't think all of my "passions" are really that. Just more random interests that I eventually give up on. Which in itself is a whole new topic. My personal definition of a passion, is something that drives you, every day of every year, for your entire life.  And maybe my definition is unrealistic, but if it is, why do I seem to be surrounded that have found their passion?

I know, that not every day you're going to be happy with your passion and some days it can down right tick you off, but it's ONLY because it IS your passion and it's not going right. You care that much about it, but it still drives you.