“In silence, there is calm. There is a certain stillness that washes over me. It holds true in times of utter chaos, where simply shutting out my world for a minute brings me peace of mind. I know that in those moments of holding myself together, with tears on the brim, I am successful. I have overcome the fear of failure. I have sacrificed myself for those I love. I have saved them from myself."
- Babers
- Babers
Often times I find myself reevaluating everything about myself. From who I am, where I've come from, in the ways I have changed, and the ways I've remained the same, they all piece together parts of me, but only when I have a moment of time to get lost in my mind and really analyze me, do I come to a better understanding.
It's not often in everyday life where you can truly take the time to "find yourself." Only leaving you with small fragments of what you're able to figure out. One thing I've always known myself to be, is my own worst enemy. I think it's only in human nature to be the hardest on yourself, well unless you're a sociopath I suppose, but even then, that's more about not having a conscience and how your actions effect others, not necessarily on your own self reflection.
I cannot yet say why I am the way I am, and I'm not sure that I ever will. What I do know, is that each and every day I struggle to keep my personal demons at bay. I want only what's best for those I love and to expose them to my personal issues would only destroy what good I have created for them. In time, I'm sure I'll find comfort in my own skin, in my own mind, in my life and no longer will I have to fake it to make it.
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