Sometimes I think my over analytical brain tells me that there is more going on than what's been presented. At the same time, there's this overwhelming sense of doubting myself, my gut's been wrong before. The tricky part is knowing how to handle the battle.
Do I go the ignorance is bliss route and deny myself to allow the toxic emotions to take control turning me into a worrisome, guarded individual? Or do I confront what my gut is telling me and turn into an accusatory, non trusting, over zealous individual?
I feel at a loss right now, because no option is a good option and the longer I sit here silent, with my heart screaming inside, the more I want to retreat into myself. The less I want to make the first move, but if I don't, who will? Its almost like looking in a mirror believing what you're seeing is a replica only to find out it's all a parody.
It's so hard to figure out the right words to say, when you can't even pin point the exact emotions you're trying to describe. Its almost as if there are so many emotions twisted into a tornado that there's no hope to stop the damage it's creating in it's path until the dust settles and the storm passes.
So you sit and wait, burring your head between your knees like the ridiculous school drills you did as a kid, only this time your arms are up covering your head as you rock back and forth trying to keep anyone from seeing the tears streaming down your face and instead of sitting with your back against the wall you're in the middle of your shower with the water on full blast at it's highest temperature scolding your back as your hair starts to droop over your face and you become oblivious to everything around you.
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