Monday, October 10, 2011

Found A Way To Hope - Ever Changing

Words are amazing. Pictures breathtaking. SOAM is inspiring, uplifting and in it's own right practically therapeutic at least for me. I guess by now you're probably wonder what SOAM stands for; Shape of a Mother.  Today, like nearly every other day in my life, after waking I  got dressed to greet the day. 

 Nothing unusual about the task, after all it's simply putting on a few articles of clothing. Though simple as simple is, I can take any task and find a way to criticize or analyze myself. Most often, doing this task, it usually comes down to my body. My ever changing body. My scars, my stretch marks, my flappy stomach, dimpled butt cheeks, cellulite covered thighs and my beautiful breasts.  Those of you who've managed to dig through all of my blogs randomness have probably read a few posts regarding my body issues. I've had them for years. 

I've fought my battles with both anorexia and bulimia, self love and self hate. And I've also had a life changing miracle happen, motherhood, TWICE! Each and every day is a different day. Now, in the moment, for the most part I'm okay with myself. I've accepted myself. Does that mean I love every inch of skin? No. Does it mean you'll find me scantily clad or breaking out the bikini? No. Will I ever feel the same about my body as I did 5 years ago? No. My body is ever changing.   

In the past two days, I have become an avid visitor to the SOAM website. To be honest, I was having a fat, disgusted with myself, wanting change kind of day. After many many google searches on the best and healthy way to lose the flap of skin on my stomach post baby, (yes I know, I know, my kids are 4 and 2, I just haven't found any lasting motivation. Still working on that, please I beg of you, give me time!) I decided to do a search on postpartum bellies of real mothers, and that's when I came across SOAM.  Of course celebrities are real mothers as well and I give them props for how quickly they bounce back, but I was looking for your every day moms. The ones who work, or stay home, or do a combination of the two. Or the single moms, or the moms with large families. I wanted to see every day women like the women I run into at the grocery store, but I always felt it would be a little awkward and inappropriate to ask them to show me their stomachs in the middle of the cereal isle. 

The SOAM website allows you to read their stories in their words, with their photographs. To me, this has been a gift. A way to hope. A way to acknowledge that the way I feel about my body on any given day is not only acceptable, but valid. I have feelings. I have my good days and I have my bad days as I have said before. But SOAM in so many ways has allowed my vision to change and to be a little less hard on myself. To be more accepting of what my body has become and the empowerment to know that if I want to change my body, I can; it is ever changing. 

Ever Changing.

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